by Mark D. Lerner, Ph.D.
Date rape is a type of sexual assault involving sexual intercourse, or other form of penetration, in which there is some romantic or potential sexual relationship between the individuals. It's prevalent today on college and university campuses and often involves alcohol or the use of other drugs, which may facilitate the assault. Date rape occurs when the perpetrator uses either psychological intimidation or physical force to have sexual relations against his or her victim’s will or when the victim is unable to give consent due to incapacitation by alcohol or drugs.
Following are twenty things you can do now if you believe that you are a victim of date rape:
1. Sit down, dial 911, and request immediate help.
2. Allow emergency responders to take you to an emergency room— even if you don’t believe you are physically injured.
3. Know that it's common to be under the influence of alcohol or have been given a drug.
4. Do not rinse your mouth, wash your hands, use the bathroom, or shower.
5. If you are wearing clothing, do not touch them.
6. Do not touch the place where the event occurred.
7. Telephone a family member or close friend and ask them to be with you.
8. If you can, write down whatever you recall that happened.
9. Try to keep yourself in cognitive/thinking mode.
10. Have a clean set of clothing.
11. Tell first responders and medical providers only the truth.
12. As you begin to talk about the facts, recognize that it’s normal to experience a wide range of emotions—from numbness and unreality to intense anger.
13. Know that your feelings are not right or wrong; they just are.
14. If you are being transported to a medical facility, keep reminding yourself, “I’m going to get through this.”
15. Know that it’s OK not to be OK right now.
16. Know that people who begin to expose themselves to painful thoughts and feelings early on generally fare better in the future.
17. Recognize that feelings of fear, anger, and guilt are particularly common among people who have experienced date rape.
18. Tell the police/detectives/investigators only the truth. If you would feel more comfortable, ask for a female officer.
19. Inform your primary care physician and consider speaking with a mental health provider or spiritual leader.
20. Know that while you cannot change what’s happened, you can control what you do now.